I want a car when I have my driver’s license. This is what my daughter Sarah said to me one month before she was scheduled to take her road test to get her drivers license. Wanting to play the hero I took her around to different used car dealerships and hunted for a good used car. I found 1997 or 98 Oldsmobile Regency with 36,000 miles on it. It looked mint. I bought the car and my daughter had a car to drive when she got her license yesterday. She has already hat a flat tire, when we went to change the tire no tools were found in the trunk, the spare was flat, and there was water in the spare tire wheel well. So much for playing hero, the car has to go back. I know that people have trouble with used cars all the time so this really doesn’t surprise me. The mistake that was made was giving in to the emotions of a teenage daughter who wanted a car to drive the day that she got her license. The fact that I am divorced didn’t help because sometimes the guilt of the divorce can be too much for a father to bear.

I am sure that these problems will be taken care of but the headache of dealing with it makes my face go numb from stress. A dad can go from a hero to a heal in one day. A dad can be viewed in one instance as a person who found a good deal on a car to not being thorough enough, being impulsive, and just plain stupid for not checking things out more fully. The car sits now with a tire dealer who will check out the other three tires to see if they are dry rotted.

I made a big mistake. No not by buying the car, but by believing that my daughter needed a car that quick. I love this girl too death, but sometimes decisions have to be made that will cause tears and an attitude that you are not giving me what all my friend’s parents gave them when they were ready to drive. A car is a big ticket item and needs to be shopped for over time with wisdom being used that is based upon fact not on emotion, especially the emotions of a teenage girl.

March 3, 2008

Dear Sarah:

I am sorry for all the trouble that you have had in school this past week I know things must have been awfully tough on you. I am glad that you called me up on Friday to get you out of school. I wouldn’t want you to be in an uncomfortable situation. I certainly wouldn’t want you to get into a fight or get hurt. I need you to really understand how much you are loved, by me and by your mother. We both love who you  as a person and want the very best for you. Your problem came in when you started kissing a boy at a party about a month ago, not knowing that the boy was dating another girl. I know that if you had all the facts you wouldn’t have done that, but that’s hard to explain to someone who is so angry that all they want to do is beat you up. Understand something, love can never wait to give, and lust can never wait to get. The appealing emotions that occur when you are physically involved with someone are very fleeting and they are just not worth experiencing. I really want you to learn from this experience. Life can be kind to us at times, but it also can be very cruel. Sometimes we can do something that produces life long consequences. Some decisions in life that we make don’t allow us to have a second chance. I love who you are very much. Please start using your head, and don’t place yourself in a compromising situation like this again.

I Love You

Dad

February 4, 2007

 Dear Sarah:

 I can’t tell you enough how my conversations with you recently have made me feel. Just the fact that you confide in me and want my advice is something that makes me realize that maybe, just maybe I have done a few things right. You know better than I do what seems to affect you, but when you share information with me like you did the other night I realized how much we need each other. I am usually asleep in the chair by 10:00 pm; I was up with you until 3:00 am just talking. There is no doubt that you are the only person that I could be with that keeps me from falling asleep. I should say you and Grace, because she has this ability also, but right now I am writing to you. I love you and everything about you. Please don’t ever forget it.

Love

 
Dad  

January 2, 2008

Dear Sarah:

 It feels strange writing to you. I usually talk to you quite a bit, but at times I feel like you need to know how I’m doing and what is on my mind. I look forward to the New Year, and I’m sure you are also. It’s really only two short months of winter before the weather starts to change and you will be getting ready for the summer, friends, tanning, and the beach. I will be speaking to your guidance counselor at school within the next week to help you get organized for the SAT’s which will be coming up in April. You are so smart. I could never have taken the classes you are taking when I was in high school. I guess you got your brains from mom’s side of the family. I admire your intelligence and the diligent attitude you have when it comes down to your school work. I can’t help you academically but, I want you to know that I will always be by your side, helping you with the challenges that you will face as you grow older and enter your senior year in high school.

You will be driving in the next few months, something that I just can’t believe. 17 years goes by pretty fast. I can manage change better now than I could when I was younger I have to accept the fact you are growing physically and mentally and changing right before my eyes. I look forward to you and I working on life together as a team. I never really had friends when I was younger, but that’s okay. The guys and gals I hung around with in high school were fleeting acquaintances, I now think of you my best friend.

I love you.

Dad