Parent Teacher Conferences: Is This About Grace or Me?

It’s 7:30 pm on Sunday night. I just came back from a four hour ride from Chambersburg, PA. I’m an independent educational contractor, and I teach all kinds of graduate classes in three different states. I have been gone since Saturday at 3:00 am and I am worn out. I was a public school teacher for 12 years, a high school and middle school administrator for 15 years, I teach graduate level courses to teachers, and have two Masters Degrees in Special Education and Educational Administration. I am a seasoned educator. As I was driving back home all I could think about was the fact that tomorrow at 2:05 I have appointment for a conference with my daughter Grace’s fifth grade teacher. Don’t get me wrong, Grace is a fine student, but there is something scary about about sitting across from another teacher listening to a report about my own daughter.

I don’t live with Grace (she lives with her mother), but I get her three or four days a week and she stays with me. I know she does have some trouble in math, but she receives tutoring twice a week, and I help her with her math homework when she’s over. She is a fantastic all around kid, but I know that she isn’t exactly the strongest in terms of her work habits. Sometimes I think that I love her so much that I let her get away with things. I don’t want to see her struggle with her school work; do I give her too much help?A good friend of mine who was also a teacher went in for a parent teacher conference for his own daughter. The teacher told him and his wife that she was concerned because their daughter seemed a bit withdrawn. She suggested that he and his wife go for outside help. What he did was to evaluate his own parenting. Basically, he discovered that he needed to spend more time with his daughter.

I think sometimes as a parent I hear things about my own kids and get defensive. I leave the conference and wonder who the report was about, my child or me? Being divorced can make me dwell even more on this question. I think divorced dads have even greater guilt and concern because they wonder if they are involved enough in the educational growth of their children. Time will tell. Right now I’ll just concentrate on tomorrow’s conference.